You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
