I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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