A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
