one two three fourrrrnication!
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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