your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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