in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
