Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
then he tried to convert me to islam
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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