He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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