Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
