i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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