I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
