today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
