I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
