Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
