I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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