dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize