for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
