my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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