I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
