I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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