You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
