you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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