Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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