my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
