I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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