I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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