I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
