You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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