Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
