We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
