Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
