hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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