Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
