My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
