I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
