Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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