Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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