operation have a gay friend backfired
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
