if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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