can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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