Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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