have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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