Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
