he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
