I'm drive I can fine osifer
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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