im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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