matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
