based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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