I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
