Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
