i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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