I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize